There was a time in my life when the word “powerlessness” was my lifeline, a lifeline that I resisted until I hollered “uncle.” I was a broken and wounded soul addicted to drugs, seeking to push my way into wholeness over and over again, only to fail over and over again. I believed in a God outside of myself, a God that wasn’t available or friendly, and who deemed me unworthy. I was hypnotized by the belief that one day this God would have mercy on me, and kick me down a reprieve from the incomprehensible demoralization of addiction—addiction to drugs, food, love and to the illusions that were running my life.
It wasn’t until I admitted complete defeat, admitted I was powerless, and realized “of myself, I could do nothing,” that I was able to tap into the power that had been available to me all along.
Powerlessness is powerful. It is an important and necessary starting point on our spiritual journey. It was never meant for us to pull over and park there, however. It was designed to create such a state of surrender that we stop trying to save and change our lives from our limited sense of power. Powerlessness opens a way for us to connect to the real power —the one power—God.
Joel Goldsmith, founder of The Infinite Way®, tells us that “we have been hypnotized by our cultural history into believing we are less than expressions of God.” I believe it is because of this false belief that we find ourselves in a life of struggle, pain, lack and limitation. Through our committed spiritual practice of prayer, meditation and forgiveness, we take God out of the sky, out of the churches and books, and put God within our own hearts—where It actually is. From this conscious union, we are restored to wholeness and can reclaim authority and dominion in our lives.
Through our connection to the Divine, we get to witness and experience the kingdom of heaven and behold all things made new in our lives. It is through our conscious union with Spirit that we are transformed from powerlessness to unlimited power.
My life has been made new. The “years that the locusts have eaten” have been restored in my sweet surrender to the one Power and Presence, which has mended the broken places in my life. Scripture tells us to “be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” My mind has been renewed, my soul restored and all things have indeed been made new in my life.
The girl I remember and embrace from many years ago was so wounded she temporarily lost custody of her daughter. That same undependable young lady who couldn’t hold a job—who couldn’t stay sober for more than 30 days—is now a licensed spiritual practitioner, teacher, author, talk show host, inspirational recording artist and devoted mother and grandmother with 25 years of sobriety behind her.
This didn’t happen all at once. It has taken a lot of tears, prayer, meditation, forgiveness, studying and processing to get here. But admitting powerlessness was the first step. Has it been easy? Absolutely not, but it’s been so incredibly worth it.
It is within the context of our oneness with the One Power that true healing happens, sanity is restored, and the crooked places in our lives are made straight. When we no longer try to get God to do something for us, we allow God to operate through us.
Through my powerlessness, I am infinitely powerful and so are you.