Finding True Love

February 2013

Justin Epstein

Justin Epstein speaks on God-love, true love, and affirmations

Justin Epstein is the minister of Unity Center of New York City and the author of SUPER YOU: 7 Steps to Profound Peace and Personal Power to be published in March 2013. 

A nationwide poll conducted for The New York Times reported that 61 percent of those polled agreed that “it has become more difficult to find true love in society.” Of course, the words “true love” were not defined by the researchers or the people who were polled. Undoubtedly, the respondents associated the words with a variety of meanings and interpretations.

Nevertheless, I would have to agree with the 61 percent: True love can’t be found in society … nor can it be found anywhere else for that matter—if it is not first found through the Spirit within. It has taken me awhile to learn this truth.

My first romantic relationship ended badly. At 6 I had hoped to receive one of those long kisses at the kissing booth at camp; a peck on the lips left me disappointed. And my first girlfriend, also at camp, stayed with me only four days. I gave her my canteen money, thinking I was responsible for an alimony payment when we broke up.

Although I liked girls, I was shy. I heeded my stepfather Henry’s advice: “You’ll have plenty of time for girls later on. Focus on your studies and sports.” It wasn’t until I was a senior in high school that I met Cindy. She asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance and I asked her to Homecoming.

From then on, we saw each other nearly every day. Although I cared for her and she for me, we fought a lot. I often followed her to find out what I had said or not said that triggered her sadness and anger. Soon I felt trapped and was very critical of Cindy in my thoughts. My personality changed. I started to become cynical and withdrawn.

Wanting to regain the love and happiness I once had, I began to search for answers to life’s meaning. Over the next 25 years, I learned that true love can only be found in God, who is Love.

In the Book of Genesis, we are told, “In the beginning God,” which means that the essence of everything—including you and me—is God, and God is Love. Thus, in Truth, LOVE is living itself AS YOU. When we go “looking for love in all the wrong places,” we frustrate the process of finding the lasting, fulfilling love we are seeking, which can only be found within. No amount of love expressed from the outside, from an individual, can take the place of experiencing the ever-present, infinite flow of God-love within.

Instead of trying to find true love in society, we can choose to be Love right where we are. We can be still and know that I AM LOVE … and then express that love.

In the quiet of our own being, we can allow our hearts to become an empty chalice to be filled to overflowing with the Love of our true self. God-love is unlimited, inexhaustible, and always available. When we abide in love, we no longer look outside for “true love.” By abiding in God-love and expressing that love in our life, we become living magnets that attract loving relationships.

The following affirmation has helped me remember this:

I am a radiating center of God-love,
mighty to attract good to me and to radiate
good to others.

We can speak these words loudly at first to focus our often-distracted conscious mind. Then we speak the words more softly in a whisper, mentally repeating them, letting them sink deeply into our subconscious mind.

As we open our hearts to the infinite spring of love within, we allow love to flow forth to everyone we meet. We can see ourself as mighty magnets attracting loving and harmonious relationships into our lives.

Rather than trying to find “true love” in society, let us become a society of lovers, centered in God-love. May we abide in this True Love always.