Why I Spell It “cAnswer”

October 2018

Lauren Lane Powell

Lauren Lane Powell

Lauren Lane Powell was a longtime Unity member who traveled the country as a musician and music workshop facilitator. She shared her journey in her book, Holy Shift! Everything’s a Gift: A Spirit-Led Journey Through Illness to Wellness. For more information, visit laurenlanepowell.com. Lauren Lane Powell made her transition in January 2019.

Six years ago, when I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a friend asked, “You of all people. How did you get cancer?”

I understood her question. In Unity, we believe we create our life experiences through our way of thinking. I know and practice Unity principles, so, yes, why would a person like me get cancer?

When Unity talks about creating our world, this may be misunderstood. The way I create my world is how I deal with the “holy shift.” While I’m on this planet, I get to wrap my arms around all the ups and downs and throw love on it. Loving it into being is part of my process.

Doing Cancer Differently

After that initial diagnosis in April 2012, I sat in the Silence. What came to me was to do cancer differently. To have fun with it. The first thing I did was change the word to “cAnswer.” That shift alone changed the way it felt.

When I told friends and family in person and via social media, instead of saying, “I’ve got cancer,” I announced, “I get to heal from ovarian cAnswer!” I then asked them to pray for healing, adding, “I’ll take your prayers, but they need to be positive and affirmative.”

When my weight plummeted from 140 to 89 pounds after a multitude of surgeries, I asked them to see me whole and healthy, even when I was sharing my struggles—because I shared those too. I know that my words and my thoughts have energy and that I don’t want to give power to what I don’t want. On the other hand, if I’m holding on to old wounds because I’m not talking about them, that’s not serving me either.

When I can’t sing, pray, or dance it away, when I can’t remove those painful feelings through all the spiritual tools I know how to use, that’s when I allow myself to go down the rabbit hole with I hate this! It’s painful! Why me? I do that on purpose to get through it.

What is cAnswer asking of me?

Now that I’m experiencing “cAnswer” for the fourth time, I’ve learned that it isn’t so much about what I’m thinking but about the bigger picture: I didn’t have the education or the life experience yet to do what I came here to do. That life experience required cancer four times for me to move into who I am to be.

Through these experiences, I’ve opened my eyes wide. I believe there’s a spiritual basis for everything, even death. I intend to stay plugged in to Spirit by going within and asking, What’s mine to do next? Then to take whatever I hear out into the world to be the best me I can. To shine the light, particularly of music, singing, and the joy of feeling good, through vocalizing as long as I’m here on this planet.